


Jacked - See Nash Write: The Best of the Shorts

by SeeNashWrite



Series: SeeNashWrite: The Best of the Shorts [28]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen, Halloween, Holidays, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-11
Updated: 2018-10-11
Packaged: 2019-07-29 07:59:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16259999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SeeNashWrite/pseuds/SeeNashWrite
Summary: For my 300th follower celebration at Tumblr, I asked the Nashooligans for three words upon which to build anything from a drabble to a dissertation. The catch? Those three words had to make me cringe. Some really nailed it, some were unsure, and some just flat-out used things that make me *personally* cringe, but regardless, well… as they might say in Sparta, this was madness.This bit's words? Moldy, Cream, Facial





	Jacked - See Nash Write: The Best of the Shorts

“HURRY UP!! WILL YOU HURRY  _UP?!_ ”

“I’M  _GOING_  AS FAST AS I  _CAN!_ ”

Dean was on his knees, shuffling backward at an impressive speed, swinging an angel blade as Sam stood nearby, mixing furiously.

Rowena remained seated at one of the library’s tables, inspected a fingernail as she crossed her legs, calm as could be. “Not too much, Samuel - you’ll want to keep it creamy.”

The pissed-off pumpkin growled as it advanced, its spindly vine arms with the tiny leaf claws outstretched, spiky toes leaving scratches in the wood floor.

“Dump that crap on its head!” Dean ordered.

“The whole  _thing’s_  a head!” Sam snapped. Pausing in his mixing and holding the bowl in one hand, he reached over to flip a page in a nearby open book, then groaned as some of the pasty concoction smeared from his fingertips onto the text. “Dammit!”

“SCREW YOUR LORE—-  _OW!_ ”

Dean’s chastisement was cut short as one of the vines unfurled, swiped, and left five tiny nicks across his cheek. The pumpkin’s sunken eyes took on a glow. And then its jagged mouth opened wide.

“ _AHHHHHHHH!_ ” it howled, and lunged.

“ _AHHHHHHHH!_ ” Dean howled right back, and brought the blade down, managing to pin it to the floor by the thick stalk protruding from the top.

The entire room went silent.

Dean stood, slowly walked over to stand beside Sam, both of them staring down at the rogue jack-o’-lantern.

A sniffle hit the air.

The brothers looked from the pumpkin to each other, then back again.

It began to tremble, wave its arms, kick its feet, the sound now erupting from its mouth a miserable wail. A pause while it sucked in a massive amount of air, then back it went to crying. It actually tilted, the motion of the tantrum causing the cored top to jostle loose - the stalk held fast to the floor, and it tipped onto its bottom, now sitting upright, but it didn’t seem to notice. Oozy, bright yellow tears began to stream from its empty eyes.

“It’s not hollowed out?!” Dean asked Sam in an accusatory tone.

“I never got to finish! I turned to rinse off the scoop, turned back around and the little bastard was waving the knife at me!” Sam exclaimed, pointing at the sobbing vegetable. “It  _TRIED_  to  _CARVE_  me  _BACK!_ ”

Rowena chuckled, and they glared at her in unison, but whipped their heads back around at the sound of hacking.

The pumpkin had upset itself to such a degree, it had begun to gag, seeds riding on a wave of stringy, pulpy puke pouring from its mouth, which upset it  _more_ , which caused the vomiting to hit a fever pitch, some of it projectile-style, landing near the brothers’ boots.

Rowena looked up. “You should probably get on with it before this charming basement of yours gets a hosing.”

A round of rock-paper-scissors later, and Dean held the bowl, looking at the contents with a wrinkled nose. “I can’t put on some gloves, or—-”

“Nooooo,” Rowena interrupted, and not without delight in her tone. “Skin to skin - that is, skin to rind, deary. Sam can recite the counter-spell, though.”

“You don’t think  _you_  should do that, since  _you’re_  the one—” Sam began, but once again Rowena interrupted.

“I was most certainly  _not_  the one who caused this festive little transmutation - your friend here did that all on his lonesome.”

The pumpkin belched, rubbed at an area that could’ve counted as its belly.

“All on his lonesome,” Sam repeated, crossing his arms.

“Well what do you want me to  _say?_ ” Rowena asked, the picture of innocence. “I  _must_  encourage young minds when they show interest in the craft.”

“This stuff in it,  _ugh_  - it’s all  _moldy_ ,” Dean said, the wrinkled nose turning into a grimace.

“That’s because it’s  _mold_ ,” Sam replied flatly.

“You’re going to have to be quick,” Rowena advised. “Has a bit of a tightening effect our wee tangerine friend may not like, then it’s off to your locker room for a steam, helps the absorption.  _I_  find it lovely, better than the spa, but to each their own.”

Dean’s eyes narrowed. “So you’re saying I have to give it a facial?”

Rowena and Sam stared, with a wicked smile and raised eyebrows, respectively.

“ _You know what I mean!_ ” Dean barked, then turned to the depressed gourd, his tone softening. But only slightly. “Okay, mush mouth. You gonna get bitey?”

The pumpkin rubbed at the puree coming from its nose, shook its head -  _itself_  - slowly back and forth.

“All right, then,” Dean replied, and knelt, smearing the mixture all over it, dumping some inside for good measure.

The pumpkin ever so slightly opened its mouth as Dean’s forearm came near; Sam squatted, a stern expression on his face as he thumped it.

“ _No!_ ” he scolded, and the response was a meek whine and downcast triangle holes.

And as they escorted the coated pumpkin to the showers, Dean leveled a most serious look at Sam.

“I don’t care how much he begs, no more celebrating Halloween—-”

“I know, I know,” Sam said with a roll of his eyes.

“—-and no more leaving him alone with Rowena!” Dean turned his gaze to the trouble-maker nestled in Sam’s arms. “You got that?”

Jack raised a soggy vine, gave Dean a crooked smile and a leafy thumbs-up.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback is fuel! Let me know if you enjoyed.


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